this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
