I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I stole a fireplace last night.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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