I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
