Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
