Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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