i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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