So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
