wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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