Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
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States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
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His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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