think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize