That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize