i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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