just come out here and I will go home with you...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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