Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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