Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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