Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
