I wanna passion pit in your ass
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
