Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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