You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
