omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
