My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
