I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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