Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
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I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
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All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I believe in your delicious
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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