.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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