last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
