I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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