is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.