I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.