We're facebook friends in real life
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.