my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
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Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
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Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket