Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
don't judge my taste in strippers
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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