went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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