we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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