ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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