I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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