i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize