I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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