Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
