**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
