before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
