so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
