that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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