I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize