My brain says no but my pants say off.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
