Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Everyone says I win the strip club
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
