last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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