There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
