I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car