But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
