Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
