Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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