I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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