You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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