flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You made out with two different species that night
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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