He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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