My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
