Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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