OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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