he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
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It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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