Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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