well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
