real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
