we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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