so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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