im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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