Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
